2023

One of the hardest years of my life. I’ve faced so many hard times this year… Started with an elective surgery, to fix my hair. Damaged from the stress of hard times from previous years. Had to shave my head, had to work a couple days after surgery… hiding the wounds, hiding my discomfort. Had to wait about 4 months before I looked normal enough to go out without a hat covering my head. By June, this faded from prevalence in my life.

My friends and family have endured many hardships this year. Fight, hospital, overdose, rehab, abuse… are words that I use too often. I’ve watched people I love hit the lowest lows they’ve ever met, and I’ve been lucky to watch them rise from that. I’ve done my best to be there, and it’s taken a toll.

This led me to change my life. I quit doing a lot of drugs. I quit mindlessly partying for days on end. I started really considering my behavior and physical health. I try to be really careful with what I put into my body. Drugs, food, drink, etc… I started exercising regularly, now it’s every other day. I want to make sure I can be here, proper, for a long time.

My back/ neck pain reached a critical point this year. I was in enough pain to wake me from sleep, and cause me to cry. My partner really pushed me to seek treatment. I don’t have Insurance, so I’ve paid out over $5k to my chiropractor this year. I remember being self conscious about my hair issue being noticeable during my first few chiropractor visits. Like talk about a fuckin broken toy…

Where are we summer/ late summer? I’m working out, I quit drugs. I gotta new head of hair. Well let’s buy a house… Bought a house in August. It was the most difficult thing I’ve ever done in my life. Go ask your mortgage guy the last time he wrote a policy for a tattooer… I’ll wait. Moved into that house during the hottest week in recorded history. & was met with all the challenges that one is met with when buying a home.

I did all that with my partner. We didn’t live together. We moved into that house together, and it was tough. We learned things about each other that we didn’t know.

Shortly after buying the house I  started therapy.

Now let’s take a second to talk about tattooing… By far the worst year I’ve experienced since I started seven years ago. The rush that comes every spring… didn’t happen. & then has continued to be the slowest year I’ve seen since I started…. Is it the recession? Is it that “fine line” tattoos aren’t trending on Tik Tok anymore? Do people hate me? Did I say some bs on the internet that pissed people off? Is it that I tried to basically rebrand my image? Long story short, my career now scares me more than it ever has, and I couldn’t be more uncertain of my future. I’m now at the studio every spare second, learning how to make my art into something with more longevity. Find a place within tattooing that has longevity. Hoping like fuckin hell that I can do something to promote good business & get things back to something familiar.

…

All this has happened & more that is smaller and less memorable, yet I’m still here. I’m still here thinking of what I could do to improve. How I could make it better.

I look pretty fuckin good considering the shit I’ve been through. I stand different, my body carries different, my neck doesn’t burn and cause pain ALL of the time anymore. I haven’t done a powder drug in 6 months. I go for jogs. I own a decent little house. Me & my partner worked through all the struggles. My family & friends are on the mend and have worked hard to better their lives. There are people who love getting tattoos from me. I’m gonna get my fucking business going and prove that I’ve got what it takes, again.

I won’t give up. This year was hard, but progress was made. I made dreams become reality this year. I’ve learned more this year than I learned the last 5.

I’m going into 2024 with a fucking vengeance.